Mon 19 May 2008
“I may not agree with the way you shag, but I will defend unto the death your right to shag the way you like.”
Posted by Hannah under Other media, Political
[2] Comments
It’s not quite as snappy as Voltaire’s original, but this is in essence what this post is trying to say about proposals to outlaw the possession of extreme pornography.
In the same way that players of violent video games do not all go on to become rapists and murderers, not all viewers of extreme pornography do not go on to enact their fantasies a la Graham Coutts. When such things happen, when the video game/porn made them do it, there are always other contributing factors. Daddy was in their head giving them instructions from beyond the grave, they hate the world because their car broke down or by social and medical standards they are mentally unbalanced and don’t function according to the same set of rules as the rest of us. As several commentators point out in various articles I have read on the subject, owning extreme porn will be an offence, but carrying out such things as contained in extreme porn in your own sex life will not be. How’s that going to prevent people from carrying out such murders ever again? Even people who watch porn have the power of imagination. Surely indulging in sado-masochist play is much closer to actually hurting someone than watching videos of it happening??
For some interesting discussion on the legislation, see this article from The Times a year or so ago.
As for my part, I can’t say that extreme porn, or indeed porn of any kind, floats my boat. It’s just something I’ve never been interested in. I’ve also yet to define where I stand on porn in general and the whole “but you’re a feminist! It exploits women!” issue. Can? Check! Worms? Check! Good. But, this whole topic was brought to my attention by Todger Talk, a most insightful and interesting group blog on male sexuality, and it threw up a lot of related thoughts I decided to share anyway.
In this post one of their regular contributors basically says he believes the importance of porn on male perceptions of women cannot be over-emphasised.
True as this may be, I think it’s obvious from the world around us that people viewing this kind of porn don’t all go off and commit murder. And there is obviously a vast selection of porn out there for people to choose from, should this be their primary method of learning about sex and sexuality. And even those who stick primarily to getting their kicks out of watching mock-asphyxiation aren’t all going to go out and put these ideas into practice. I think we’d have noticed the resultant death toll.
Now, I can’t presume to extrapolate, with any certainty, from myself on to the entire global population (it would take a lot more egotism than I currently possess as well), but as someone who was raised in a fairly liberal environment, I’ve always been fairly comfortable talking about sex and sexuality. And have never felt the urge to watch porn. If what their poster says is true, and most men don’t feel comfortable discussing sexuality and turn to porn for answers, clearly we need to bring about a change in the way we talk about sex and sexuality.
Collectively, we need more openness in our society about sex. The emotional side of sex needs to be discussed at school, alongside the practical. Clearly, I’m not holding my breath for this to happen over night. But if porn is unrealistic/degrading/unhealthy and that’s where people are getting their information then clearly we’re doing something wrong.
I believe, in many ways, our society is far too sexually repressed. And this repression always finds an outlet. Where? Porn, among other things. This outlet is not necessarily healthy, and in the case of Graham Coutts, proved fatal for one extremely unfortunate young woman. What does repression do? It makes things taboo and, therefore, attractive. I may be completely wrong (and hey, it’s happened before, at least once), but I believe that if we were more open and honest with each other and discussing sexual thoughts and desires on a regular basis was socially acceptable, the need for stuff like this would melt away. We don’t need more censorship of sexuality, but an embracing of it.
I mean, I don’t know how many, if any, BDSMers out there are reading this blog, but tell me, would the stuff you get up to be half so enjoyable if it wasn’t completely frowned upon, absolutely verboten and never, ever, ever discussed in polite society? I’m guessing no…?
But on the other hand, as I say, maybe I’m wrong and people will always have a divergence of sexual tastes as broad as the Nile delta. But even if that is the case, if such tastes were discussed more regularly in public, at least that might increase the chances of spotting potential Graham Couttses before they managed to made their fantasies a reality.
NB: I apologise if this is disjointed and rambling. It was written over the course of several hours while I tried to do several other things.
